Last night was a painful night for me. I had to watch a BCS National Championship game involving two teams I HATE. Being a hurricane you know I can’t root for Notre Dame. But on the other side of the ball is the damn Alabama Crimson Tide, a team that has dominated college football for the last half decade. Oh my do I hate Alabama. I hate everything about Alabama not just the University. I hate the color crimson. I hate bible studies. I hate grits. I love Cracker Barrel – the campfire special is damn good ya’ll. Most importantly I HATE Nick Saban. I’ll try to hold back my potty mouth but Nick Saban is a god damn JACKWAGON. I’m sorry, I tried. I hate him because he’s cocky. I also hate him because he cheats on his wife. What a slime-ball.
Don’t even get me started on AJ McCarron. You’re up 28 points with 7 minutes left, the game is over, and you’re whining to your senior center because he didn’t hike the ball. Give me a break. What an asshole. I know I’ll get some steam for this one but his girl isn’t even that hot. Let’s see how long she stays with him when he’s sitting backup with his Alabama buddy Greg McElroy behind Mark Sanchez on the Jets. She’ll be moving on to rock star Aldous Snow of Infant Sorrow realllll quick. If it wasn’t for football AJ would be working for John Deere. And I love how AJ said he was going to have fun in Miami after the game. Yea right, he’s prolly heading to bird bowl or the monkey jungle afterwards.
Wait till next year when Johnny Football rips the tide a new one. Watching Alabama fans cry is a euphoric experience.
Now that’s a real quarterback people … posting with stacks of money. Bet on black, bet on black…