Wattttttttt. I’m casting an executive order for 20 Academy Award Nominees PRONTO. First off… is James Franco playing as RiFF RaFF in this movie? It certainly looks like that. People have been hating on me for posting about RiFF RaFF and now people are straight emulating him. Hold up a second… the words “emulate” and “RiFF RaFF” should never be in the same sentence — excuse me.
How about Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens doing their thing? I remember when there were talks about this movie but an official trailer wasn’t out yet. I didn’t think they could pull off roles like this but damn. And how about Gucci Mane making an appearance? All-star cast right here. The accumulative IQ of this cast is lower triple digits, if not upper double digits.
Damn do I miss Spring Break. Those were the days. If I went on Spring Break now I’d be thrown in a category with Sandusky and that Syracuse basketball coach. I’d stick out about as much as an old man with a cul-de-sac haircut — hair on the sides but not on top — you know, like a street cul-de-sac. I remember one year, my Senior Year of high-school, when my boy Ant and me surprised my entire school in the Bahamas. No one knew we were coming and then we rolled up to the resort with beer hats smoking cigars. Shit.Was.Crazy. I swear one of my buddies almost shit a chicken. Jeez was that trip epic. Unlimited access to alcohol, bars packed with 18-year-old girls, partying all night, sleeping all day, local bahamian weed laced with raid… it was like an appetizer for college. I remember leaving that trip and asking my friend why everyone in the Bahamas airport was named “Nas”, when I later realized “Nas” was short for Nassau.
On the real though this movie is not a good look for our younger audiences. Selena Gomez acting like a stripper, playing with guns, hustling for money… not a good look.