Multiple news sources recently reported that two storage warehouse workers in Gwinnett County stole $65,000 worth of chicken wings. Police investigators said they believe Dewayne Patterson and Renaldo Jackson used a rental truck on Jan. 12 and stole 10 pallets of frozen wings from Nordic Cold Storage. Read the full story HERE.
If I were to organize a major heist it would either be targeted at a bank or a chicken wing factory, true story. I remember growing up there was this wing spot called “Candlelight” in Eastchester right by my crib. This place had the dopest wings in town, people would travel from different countries to get these wings. Aliens would legit travel from tau Ceti, a sun-like star 12 light-years away in the constellation Cetus for these wings. I remember there was this one sauce called Chernobyl — (I know) it sounds like a trusted Cherokee war horse. Eating an order of these wings was like a sick twisted challenge. Rarely did people finish an order. The only people I’ve ever known who’ve finished were my dad’s 280 lb juice-head friend named Ronnie Angeron and a dragon. And mind you Ronnie Angeron used to hit 600 ft homeruns in my dad’s over 50 league.
Any how, this heist was epic. Superbowl Sales for these guys are going to be like the 4th quarter for Apple Inc — sales gone wild. Too bad these guys will be watching the Superbowl from their holding cells. Let’s hope they snuck a few of those wings in napkins stashed in their pockets.