6 months ago my life changed. On July 6th 2012, prominent GQ photographer and socialite Ben Watts, along with Ruschmeyers’ Ben Pundole, and Milk Studios’ Mazdack Rassi threw the 10th Annual Shark Attack Party at Rick’s Crabby Cowboy Cafe in Montauk. This was hands down the biggest and best party I will ever experience…ever. The only way I could ever experience a better party was if tossing midgets was involved or a fire blowing pig-nosed turtle was present. Actually now that I think of it I’ve already experienced those so even that party wouldn’t compare. But it would be a close runner up.
What started 10 years ago when Ben Watts D.J.’d on Ditch Plains beach on Long Island for a few dozen friends, has recently become a global phenomenon. Let’s break down this party for a second…
First off there were a few thousand people that attended and everyone was dressed in their hottest attire. There was an abundance of gorgeous women wearing slim batik dresses and pretty much everyone was rocking moccasins. Literally everyone was wearing moccasins. It was like a party hosted by Algonquins but no wigwams, birchbark canoes, and squash. NYC socialite Tomas Matthew described the party as “cosmic end-of-the-world shit.” There were celebrities and models everywhere. I bumped shoulders with the Olsen twins — one of them had white stuff on her face — I guess she was drinking milk or something. San Diego Chargers Pro Bowl Linebacker Shawn Merriman even dabbed me up. It was a passionate dabb-up too… not like I was his drug dealer or something.
The setting was unreal. Crabby Cowboy Cafe is right on the water so people had their feet in the sand, there were yachts bobbing in the water, and the stage was fluorescent colored with a massive sound system. The DJ’s bumped remixes of some of the hottest songs while throwing inflatable sharks in the crowd. The weather was crispy — there were clear skys and it was about 70 degrees with a light NW breeze. The humidity was about 25% and the barometric pressure was…I’m kidding, I’m not a weatherman but what I’m trying to say is it was gorgeous out.
All of this contributed to an aggressive collective party mentality. My friend was triple kissing two 40-year-old dime pieces — one was speaking fluent French. There was a perfumed smell of herbs in the air and I’m not talking green beans. Every gorgeous girl present was receptive, outgoing, and talkative. I felt like I was Hitch but on HGH, not kidding.
Overall it was the most euphoric experience I’ve ever had and I’m certainly not missing next year. It’s the 6 month anniversary so get your shit together people and make it out to Montauk this year. But don’t tell all of your friends, let’s keep it dL. Considering The Jadamix Special only gets about 16 hits a day I’m not worried. But still, shhhhh.